Two Coats

This Filipino guy needed to paint his house. Filipinos usually do things themselves, but his gout was kicking in from eating all those animal organ foods.

So, he hires this Potogee guy to do the painting. He shows the Potogee where the paint is, then leaves for a doctor appointment.

When he returns, the painting is almost done. The Potogee was doing a good job. Then he sees the Potogee wearing a parka and a leather jacket, sweating like a pig as he continues to paint the house.

The Filipino guy can't figure out why the Potogee is wearing a parka and a leather jacket in all this heat, but does not want to ask. Curiosity finally gets the best of him and he asks the Potogee why he is wearing the parka and a leather jacket.

The Potogee shows the Filipino the paint instructions on the can. Sure enough, it said "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

The Filipino guy thought to himself, This man is so stupid. A parka is not a coat!!

- from Donna from Aunty Snips from Norman Ching

how's Holly?

A woman telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?"

The woman answered, "Holly Finkel in room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me check. Oh, good news. Her records say that Holly is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."

The woman said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news."

The operator then asked, "You're more than welcome. Is Holly your daughter?"

The woman replied, "No, I'm Holly Finkel in room 302. Dr. Cohen doesn't tell me shit."

- from Arlene from Jerry

This Land

A political parody